


Ephemeral Dawn

by iloveyourscratchybeard



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Cancer Arc, F/M, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 18:58:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17188532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveyourscratchybeard/pseuds/iloveyourscratchybeard
Summary: I'm sorry this is so sad. It's a combination of 5 hurt/angst prompts "Can't you stay a little longer?" from @peacenik0, “I wouldn’t change a thing about you.” from @viceversawrites, and “I love you, please don’t go.”, “How could you ask me that?” & “Here, let me help you.” from @barefootunderthesun on tumblr. This is what my mind made of those. Scully doesn't really die. It's all a nightmare. =)





	Ephemeral Dawn

The mechanical beeping fills the silence in the room like a spiritless melody, equal and precise, but a beautiful sound nonetheless to Fox Mulder’s ears because it is the rhythm of her heart. A heart that despite cancer ravaging through her body, prevails and continues to beat with her life force. Allowing him another day, another hour, another moment with her.

He holds her hand firmly with both of his, trying to pull all of the warmth, all of the essence, from his own body and infuse it into hers, willing to cut the years off of his life and give them to her. Take it all, I don’t need it. The remainder of my life will be a waste if you go. I won’t survive that.

She stirs for the first time all day, the hollow of her cheeks flexing as she moves her jaw, trying to swallow away the cotton of her throat that is undoubtedly dry after hours of prolonged unconsciousness. He reaches for her glass of water on the side table and directs the straw to her cracked lips so she can swallow it slowly. She blinks several times in appreciation, her eyes darkened and sagging but still the brightest form of blue he knows. He thinks of all the tragic love stories he knows, of Napoleon And Josephine, Cleopatra And Mark Antony, Tristan And Isolde…all fated to die without the one they love by their side. Kept apart from society, or obligation, or their own impetuousness. Destined to die alone.

His face lights up for her, beaming his brightest smile, and he brings her hand up to his lips, kissing her knuckles one at a time. Her skin is dry, her fine bones and veins protruding from the tops of them. He takes the lotion from the tray of her things on the nightstand and begins to rub it in circular motions along the tops of each hand, in between her fingers, and along her palms, tracing her lifeline delicately.

“Thank you. I’m such a mess. I’m so embarrassed- how can you even stand to look at me like this?” Her voice is raspy from disuse, and her eyes glisten with unshed tears.

Mulder shakes his head, brings her hand up against the stubble of his cheek, holding it in place with his own hand cupped over hers. “How could you ask me that? No matter what, you are still beautiful, Scully. I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

She manages a small smile before her body is overcome with a coughing fit. She struggles to sit up to help clear her lungs. Mulder jumps up from his chair and climbs into bed with her. “Here, let me help you,” he wedges his body in behind hers, sitting propped up against the headboard and pulling her back to his chest. Her coughing subsides and she relaxes into him with a sigh.

“We’ve wasted so much time, Mulder. If I could go back-”

“Don’t say that. I don’t want you to have any regrets. I don’t.” It’s a lie. He would do it all differently too. He would have kissed her on that first case, standing in the rain of the cemetery in a burst of laughter and jubilation, the excitement and spark of something new and exciting floating between them. If he had known then how short their time together would be, he would have cherished every moment of it.

“I already said goodbye to mom and my brothers,” she whispers, bringing her hand to his forearm where it rests around her waist. His breath hitches at her words, he feels the lump in his throat burn as it threatens to unravel his careful composure. He bites his lip hard, hoping the pain will direct his focus off of what she is trying to tell him. She’s giving up.

“Can’t you stay a little longer?” He hears the words, unaware that they have come from his own mouth. He tightens his grip on her frail body, memorizing the feel of her, breathing in the silky sweetness of her hair against his nose.

“Mulder, you need to go on - for me. I want you to get out of the dark of that basement once and awhile. I want you to find the sun. I want you to be happy. Promise me.”

His tears are falling in earnest now, a waterfall of sorrow marking their path down his face, rolling along his jawbone, collecting in the crown of her hair like melted snowflakes.

“Mulder, promise-”

He nods his head, unable to verbalize it. He shifts her body slightly so her head now rests in the crook of his arm and she can tilt her face up his. He traces her features lightly with his fingertips, forcing himself to smile through the tears, stamping every detail of her face into his brain for future reference.

“I love you, please don’t go,” he manages to choke out. A final plea. Her head is heavy in his arms, she doesn’t have the strength to say the words back, but her eyes widen briefly at his confession and fill with a new wave of tears. A smile forms on her face and her eyes close like she’s falling into a peaceful sleep, her body heaving up and then down as the last of her breath leaves her body and he feels her spirit break free of the confines of her illness, floating up in a wisp of glowing dawn.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry this is so sad. It's a combination of 5 hurt/angst prompts "Can't you stay a little longer?" from @peacenik0, “I wouldn’t change a thing about you.” from @viceversawrites, and “I love you, please don’t go.”, “How could you ask me that?” & “Here, let me help you.” from @barefootunderthesun on tumblr. This is what my mind made of those. Scully doesn't really die. It's all a nightmare. =)


End file.
